Exhaustion

Exhaustion is the worst thing that can happen to you when you are a single mother. Since my son was born I neither slept through the night or more than 6 hours in a row, nor did I have one single day to myself. I have always been on his side and that won’t change for a long long time. Exhaustion builds itself up when you barely find some time to yourself. You feel more aggressive, annoyed, less happy and every single little thing drives you nuts. I don’t think I can count the times I have thought how nice it would be without a kid right now and where is next place I can drop him off and get rid off him.

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I fight against exhaustion every day. I am not a coffee drinker which makes it worse. I only drink tee on occasion and that doesn’t keep you going. Once in a while I get myself an energy vitamin water because I don’t like energy drinks either. I know that there are a lot of others things I could do to feel more energetic, like eating regularly and healthy, or exercising. Everything seems so simple explained by others. Yet, do I neither find the time nor energy to actually take those advices and put them in action. I do cook on a daily base, but only simple foods that are healthy and easy to prepare. However, finding the time to actually eat regularly seems impossible as a single mother. Either my kid is always on my nerves and requires my full attention while I try to eat, or he just eats my food and I barely get anything. Exercising is something I have never done before and will never start doing. I think I visited a gym twice in my entire life. I go outside with my child almost daily and that’s already enough for me, still it is not real exercising.

What is also exhausting? Having thousands of thoughts on your mind and not having anyone to talk too. My family lives far far away and I don’t really have the time or the energy to hang out with other people on a regular base. I think starting this blog made me realize I actually can do something for myself and if its only writing. It has nothing to do with my child or work and it is something I am doing for myself. You just have to find the little things that make you happy and happiness eliminates exhaustion just as well as eating regularly, exercising, or coffee.